Irregular Thoughts

Literally only adding this photo so there's an image on the feed.

I remember starting this blog back in around 2013, a little teenager who aspired to be like the golden era of bloggers and youtubers - oh how I was wrong aha.
Despite not achieving the instant fame, pr packages and gratification that I thought I wanted, this little blog kept me going and brought me lots of happiness and as well as a good tool to fuel procrastination!
Now if I think about it - I have changed a lot in the past seven years (bloody hell that's longer than I thought!), but here I am again, procrastinating from revising for my second year university exams that are somehow still ongoing despite the current situation, by returning to this blog for the third time.

Again, similarly to the last time this blog received a resurgence (which lasted around one blog post...solid), I'm really only here because I need somewhere to write out my thoughts. Considering the failures of this last time, I should probably take it as a hint to just buy a diary and write my sporadic and pretty pointless thoughts in there, but alas - here I am!


This current situation is a weird one. We've got so much time, but I almost feel like I have no time at all (I should be revising right now, I will probably regret this later.)
It's almost as if the time I have for revising and doing productive things like becoming a skinny legend and tik tok famous (lol pls follow me xoxo) whizzes by, whilst there is bucket and bucket loads of time to ponder my most inner, deepest thoughts EVER.

I never considered myself someone who did or did not think a lot, but recently it is like my brain is in overdrive, but not with useless things such as exam content but instead with never-ending questions about when will this all be over, what is actually happening with the world, what da f is going on?

I consider myself generally a pretty happy person. Yes, everyone has their issues, their ups and downs, but I've never really experienced anything too intense, and for that I am grateful. However, in these past few weeks I must say that this has really taken a toll on my feelings and I've definitely become more aware of the fact that it is okay to have down days and it is okay to not always feel on top of the world.
I don't really feel like dwelling on this - I'm in a good mood now, we'll put that down to avoiding revising and writing this instead...but if I take one thing out of lockdown, it will be that I'm glad to have realised that I am a human and just because I don't feel it as constantly and as deeply as others, it is okay to acknowledge your mental health, in fact, it is important to do so.